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MM194- Friday Reflection: Envision with Me

Weekly Show Reflection:

Before we get started today, I need to give a shout out to Oxana Aminov from Arizona! As you may know, we have a Fundly account established for those of you who want to be a part of our 50-state tour. I know when I see people doing something really cool and I want to help, I donate money. If you are the same way, and you want to feel like you are a part of this journey with us, just go to motivatemepodcast.com and click on the donation link. You can earn different things, like Motivate Me! merchandise or even just a shout out on the show… so Oxana here is your shout out! Thank you so much for donating to our trip! And, for anyone out there who would just like to contribute a tank of gas… that would be amazing! We would love it! We would love to know that you are on this journey with us.

OK, so thank you, everyone, for joining us for Season 2.

Season 2 is going to be a new experience for me, as a matter of fact, I think the entire theme of Season 2 is about new experiences, and about getting outside of your comfort zone. Definitely for me. And, as you know, I am going to be doing something in each of the 50 states that I have never done before. All of these things are going to be a little bit out of my comfort zone, some more than others.

You are going to have the opportunity to listen in as our episodes evolve from studio and formal interviews to interactions and updates from the road. I cannot tell you that I have a clear vision of exactly what that means just yet. There are so many things I want to be for you: I want to entertain you and inform you, I want to be honest and inclusive with you, and above all else, I want to motivate you.

This is what I do know for Season 2: I know that each episode will include a motivational quote. I know that each episode will update you on our progress. And then, I know that I cannot know what will come after that. I plan to share our journey with you through the funny things that happen and the difficult, through the ordinary and the extraordinary.

I can’t prepare for these episodes; I can’t even predict what they will include. I know this is something outside of my control. As I always say on the show: I am not going to try and wrestle it to the ground. My plan is to surrender to the hard work and belief we put into this. To surrender to our true intentions. To let be what is meant to be.

My goal is to post daily, which means 7 days a week. I don’t foresee them being long episodes, but I’m not making any rules. And if I miss a day here and there because of what life brings us, just stay tuned, we will fill you in on the following episode. Again, no rules.

Here is a thought I had today: I have told you all before that something I struggled with as a teacher was that I was preparing kids for the real world and I didn’t feel like I was living in it myself. So, I left teaching and started podcasting. And my life definitely did evolve, I was speaking with people all over the world on a regular basis. However, I still felt like working from my home studio was not experiencing the world.

Today, I had a moment of clarity. I realized that years of feeling isolated may have been the catalyst, the preparation I needed for this journey. That I needed to be pushed to this point to take this risk, to take three months away from my family, to take on the debt to do it. And really, to hopefully, change the lives of as many people as I can connect with in the process. And that means you.

What is my goal? My ultimate goal is to help people live lives they love. That’s it. Lives they want to wake up to. Why? Just listen to the joy and passion in the voices of the guests on my show. Why? Because it makes me insanely happy to think that I could play a small part in the happiness of someone else. Why? Because this is apparently my purpose in life.

I am feeling so grateful for the opportunity to experience this kind of freedom.

Now, do we have a schedule while we’re on the road? Of course. Do we have goals and required tasks? Absolutely. But here is the thing: I don’t have any expectations. And I’m not depending on anyone else for my happiness, nor do I feel responsible for the happiness of anyone else.

I am not attached to the outcomes of the interviews I have planned. The interviews will happen and my focus will be on getting to know my guest, and allowing them to share of themselves in a way that is beneficial to you. To present with them. That’s it.

And as far as depending on others for my own happiness or feeling responsible for the happiness of others: this is new for me, but there won’t be any of this on this trip. Remember, I’ve been married since I was 19-years-old. With that comes having a person there for you every day, someone who cares about how you’re feeling or if you need anything. That’s been my experience with marriage, that’s my life.

In the same turn, as a wife and mom, you feel responsible for everyone else’s well-being. You do things for them, you don’t do some things for yourself because of them. Whatever it is, it’s sacrifice and love, and beautiful, and just the way it is. But like I said, there won’t be any of that on this trip.

When was the last time you sincerely threw your hands up and relinquished the control of the outcome of something? Because I think most of us do it so often that we don’t even realize we’re in complete control at all times. What is going on in your life right now. What is going on today that you can allow yourself to emotionally detach enough from it to surrender it. I think you will be amazed at the actual outcome. It will work itself out without you. And… the people who end up taking control of it are probably the people who should have been in control of it in the first place, and they will become stronger, more capable people because you didn’t do it for them.

So, this week you got to meet my husband, Poor John. That was a fun moment for me. I love hearing his views on things, especially things that have to do with me. John is quietly confident, he is humble, and he is without ego. He is a charitable person with a huge heart. He is steadfast, the epitome of “slow and steady wins the race.” It’s pretty hard for me to rattle him. I mean, it’s been done, but it’s not easy.

Please be prepared for my married self to miss him while out on the road. Be prepared for me to feel like I need him. Because if I feel this way, I am not going to apologize for it, even though he’s already told me that I better not.

I am an independent, strong, married woman who has believed in equality her whole life, but that doesn’t mean I won’t have moments when I want my husband. And, I can tell you something else, I am not going to pretend to be something I’m not. I will be judged for this, and I’m prepared for that. And, that’s OK, I’m judged now for going on this trip in the first place.

Ladies and gentlemen, do you see my point here? These are all new experiences and when we try something new, we have fears, judgement being one of them. I love what documentary curator Thom Powers said on his episode this week: You have to move past the embarrassment you feel when starting something new.

I feel I will be judged by those who think it’s ridiculous for me to miss my husband, and I will be judged by those who feel it’s ridiculous for me to go on a three-month trip away from my husband. Here’s the beauty: I am doing it anyway. I am not letting the opinions of others, which is really all about them and nothing to do with me, control me. I am going to be me, and if I’m not feminist enough for you, or I am too feminist for you, that is on you – and truly has nothing to do with me. I’m just being me.

What about you, everybody? What is your passion and what are your fears? You don’t have to be taking a trip around the country to experience what I’m talking about here. Is there something new you would like to start but you are too embarrassed to say it, to do it? What are you afraid of? What is the worst thing that could happen? What is the best thing that could happen?

I challenge you. I challenge you to begin the envisioning process. I’m not asking you to take a step. I’m not asking you to spend a dime. I’m not even asking you to share your ideas with anyone else. If you want to keep this dream to yourself, do it. But guess what, envisioning is free. Picture yourself doing it… marinate in it for a while.

If you’re thinking about trying out for the local theater group, how would it feel to be on the stage, to be in a costume, to be under the lights? How would it feel to add rehearsals to your daily routine? Do you see yourself showing up straight from work? Maybe you are stocking feet, wearing your work dress pants, and a sweat shirt, your skin is oily from a long day, and you’re munching on a slice of pizza the cast ordered. But you’re singing and dancing and moving with a group, within a group.

Can you see yourself adding all of these new friends to your Facebook account, penciling in all of the rehearsal dates in your calendar, and the show dates on your phone? Maybe you just want to help with costumes or the scenery, can you see yourself in the dimly lit, curtain-filled backstage, carrying a mini flashlight, and moving the setting in and out, and helping the actors find their props and get out on stage in time?

Can you see yourself at the cast party?

I don’t know about you, but man, that sounds like fun. I like Netflix, and like social media, and I like reading, and I like writing, but I also like real people.

Here is something else that is super cool about the envisioning process: There is no time limit on it. I know, people always talk about jumping into action, they always say not to get paralysis by analysis – meaning you dwell in the envisioning and the exploring, and never get to the executing.

Well, here’s how I feel: You will act when the time is right for you, and if you’re not ready to act now, if you don’t want to act now, you’re not supposed to act now. If we really truly believe that everything happens the way it should, when it should, and that everything goes as planned, then you WILL act when the time is right for you. You will know that you are dwelling in the envisioning and exploring, and you will get tired of that phase. Or guess what, you weren’t meant to act and you have your sights set on something else now.

It took me probably two years to get the nerve up to go to a coaching program. I felt like my husband would want to kill me because I earned two degrees and now I want to put time and money into this. I also felt like: Who am I to tell people how to live their lives. Yada, yada. But the reality is, when it was time, when it was so obvious this is what I should be doing next, I did it. I was hesitant and I had challenges, and my husband called me out on them. When I finally had the nerve to say out loud that I wanted to go to a coaching program, but I was torturing myself over doing it, John said: “What is the biggest thing holding you back?”

And, I said, after sincere thought: “Money.”

He looked at me and said, “Life costs money.”

That was a pretty magical moment in our marriage, because he could have been scared and selfish and stingy, but he wasn’t. It is really those words that landed me here.

So the bottom line is this: I challenge you to begin the envisioning process. I challenge you to marinate in those details of what you want to do. You may be the person who wants to get involved in theater and has very little financial risk. Or, you may be a medical assistant who wants to become a dog-groomer – hmmm…invest money in school to make a similar salary? Sounds like you’d be in the hole, right? But would you, though? How would your quality of life change if you were spending it with little fluffy poodles versus medical charts and molars?

Part of the envisioning process is approaching your spouse about it, and that is not always easy. So if this is you, make sure you want it first. Be able to articulate it. And then, be ready to defend it. And remember that you are worth it and you deserve it.

I would love to hear about what you’re envisioning either in our private Facebook group: Motivate Me! Ultimate Support System or email: Lynette@motivatemepodcast.com. Remember: You’re not executing just yet, you’re just envisioning… and, hey, if that leads you right into the exploration process – it still doesn’t cost you anything, and you still don’t have to tell anyone about it.

Just like you, I don’t know where any of this will take me. All I know is that I can only do my part: work hard, believe in myself, have true intentions, and then surrender it – having no attachment to the outcomes.

It seems simple doesn’t it?

Call to Action:

• Join our Motivate Me! The Ultimate Support System Private Group!
  • Come be with like-minded people and rally around your peers

The Motivational Go-Do!

Take the Envision Challenge with me in our private Facebook group or through email.

CLICK HERE to listen to this week’s reflection.

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