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Get ready to identify your fears, find out the key ingredient to facing them, and take actionable steps to move through them. We got this and we can do it together!

MM557 – Battle Fear – Nix Excuses

Hello, everybody, and welcome to this week’s episode of Motivate Me!

It’s Me! Time here on Motivate Me! and we are working on coming back from flat.

Before we start, let’s get into the right headspace. Let’s engage in the idea that this is time where YOU are the priority. Let’s take two slow, deep breaths to get us centered. Just follow me.

Today’s focus is: Battle Fear – Nix Excuses

My goal today is to give you actionable steps that will help you identify your fears, control them, and dispel them, so you can get out of your head and into achieving your goals.

Today’s episode is chock full of information. For the time being, kick back and listen in. After you do, you can head over to motivatemepodcast.com where all of this information is in print for you in the show notes. Just click on this episode and the show notes will appear.

So, fear… I understand fear. The night before the crew I’d hired came to town, I was having dinner with my daughter. She had come to spend time with me before I ventured out on my ninety-day trip to interview people in each of the fifty states about passion. I’m pretty sure I looked like a crazed woman during our meal. I was unexpectedly overwhelmed with fear. I’m sure it was the feelings I had of not wanting to leave my home, my husband, my daughter, and my new puppy. I’m sure it was because I was going to be gone for a long time. I’m sure it was because I was taking a completely blind step off of a very high dive.

But mid bite of I don’t even remember what, I just started to shake. The kind of shake that makes your hands tremble and your face quiver. And tears just started to stream from my eyes. Now, my daughter was 24-years-old, she wasn’t a young child, but she didn’t know what was happening, and it was apparent that my fear was scaring her. I remember her saying, “Oh my God, Mom.” Like, what’s going on? So on top of what I was feeling, I needed to find a way to comfort her.

I looked at her with calm and honesty and napkins in my hand, and I said, “Mackenzie, don’t worry, I’m fine. What you’re seeing is fear. Sometimes fear can affect us physically. I’m sorry, I don’t want to scare you. I’m going to be fine.” And after a pause that included deep breaths and nose-blowing, I told her, “This is not a bad thing, and it’s not a bad thing for you to see, because you’re going to watch me push through this.” And she did.

Whew. I get emotional just thinking about this.

Now, my trip is an extreme example in many people’s standards, but any of us can have a similar reaction to any type of challenge we face. Especially, I feel, when these challenges are self-induced. I mean, did I HAVE to put myself through this? No, I could have very easily stayed in my comfort zone.

In any case, the first thing we have to do is acknowledge our fear – especially if we’re allowing it to hold us back from achieving our dreams or goals. Many of us make excuses for why we’re not doing what we’d really like to do, instead of identifying it for what it is: we’re freaking afraid.

We’re afraid we’ll fail. We’re afraid of what others will think about us. We’re afraid we’re not smart or talented enough. We’re afraid we’re not young, pretty, or fit enough. We’re afraid we’ll look dumb, etc.

It’s important to know that the reason we stay inside our comfort zones all stem from our ego. Our ego communicates with us through our internal dialogue and uses the fear we create to control our actions.

Two previous episodes come to mind for me when I think about the ego, so if you’d like to hear more on that, you can check out Episode 555, “Say No to Negativity” and Episode 550, “Experiment with Your Craft.”

But the bottom line is that we can control the ego and the mind. We get to choose what we believe. All we have to do is flip the script on our internal dialogue. Let me give you an example of what I mean here.

Maybe this idea: “I don’t have enough experience” is holding you back. But, what if you change that notion to “I have a unique experience worth sharing”? The idea that I have a unique experience worth sharing is the affirmation I use to share my ideas with you.

Do you see what I’m doing here?

Here are three more examples of how you can “flip the script”:

We can change the negative thought, “People won’t find what I have to say important” to the positive idea that “Many people share my interests.”

We can change: “People won’t like me” to “Not everyone will like me, but many will.”

We can change: “I am too old” to “I bring the kind of wisdom that comes from experience.”

You know, there is really ONE main idea that we keep revisiting in one way or another throughout Season 4 of Motivate Me! One main thing we MUST do in order to come back from flat and regain our passion again. To sum this main idea up in one word, it’s “control.”

Here’s a list of The Seven Things We Need to Control to Battle Fear and Nix Excuses:

            1) our direction in life

            2) our egos

            3) our beliefs

            4) our decisions

            5) our internal dialogue

            6) our feelings

            7) our actions

I understand that life takes its turns and things like accidents and illnesses sometimes take priority. But even during those times, we can dream and we can envision the future we want for ourselves, so that when the time comes we’re ready to act.

For some of you this conversation is making you anxious. Why do you think that is? What thought are you having right now that makes you nervous about taking control of your direction, inner dialogue, and life? I’m going to give you a second to think about this, and then I’ll take a gander. Maybe you need to hit pause for a second?

Is it my turn now? Here’s my guess: Is it your self-doubts?

I happen to have an activity prepared for you that will help you Kick out Your Self-Doubt, and after that, we are going to get into the elephant in the room that we need to address!

To Kick Out Your Self-Doubt, when you get some quiet time, I would like you to answer these five questions (You can search Motivate Me! with Lynette Renda on Facebook or Instagram to see printed versions of this activity).

1. What you would like to achieve?

2. What is your top self-doubt?

3. What is the worst-case scenario of you attempting this?

4. What is the best-case scenario if you attempt this?

5. How will trying to achieve this change your current situation?

Here are my answers to this as an example:

1. I would like to achieve getting my book about traveling the fifty states in ninety days published.

2. My top doubt is that the book won’t be good enough to get published.

3. The worst-case scenario if I attempt this is that I’ll take the time to write it and it won’t get published.

4. The best-scenario if I attempt this is that I could get my book published.

5. Trying to achieve this will change my current situation because I will have no regrets about not writing a book about my trip, I will always have a book I wrote about my trip, I will make connections with people in the publishing industry, and I could possibly receive feedback that will help me better the book.

Now, writing a book is just extremely time consuming but the risk is low. You may need to invest money or change careers, or you may just need to start a side hustle or volunteer. I’m not sure what fears and doubts you need to move past and why. Maybe you want to audition for the local theater or want to get the courage to sing karaoke. This exercise will work for all doubts big and small. Put it on paper, look at it, determine if you’re allowing fear to deter you.

So, here is the elephant in the room we need to address.

We need to distinguish between excuses and obstacles, and we need to provide you with the right armor BEFORE you begin your battle.

What’s an excuse? It is a made-up illusion we create when we’re afraid to proceed, one we use to make us feel better about not doing what we know we should.

What is an obstacle? It’s a hurdle that pops up on our path to going for what we want.

There’s a fine line between excuses and obstacles and that is simply wanting it badly enough!

So what if we prepare for our obstacles before we even encounter them?

It is as simple as these two steps:

            Step One: List three obstacles you project encountering on the path to achieving your                                    goals.

            Step Two: Write a solution for each of the obstacles you project encountering on the path                                          to achieving your goals.

You and I both know that you are aware of what your challenges will probably face. Maybe it’s childcare, maybe it’s marketing knowledge, maybe it’s transportation?

Find solutions for these obstacles BEFORE starting. Maybe you can swap babysitting dates with a friend, maybe you can take a short marketing webinar or sit down with a knowledgeable friend, maybe you can figure out how to use the transit system to get where you need to be.

We would love to hear your thoughts. Join us in our Private Facebook group: Motivate Me! Support System and checkout MotivateMePodcast.com for anything else.

I am going to leave you with some truth talk from me to you: I have given you solid actionable items to work on here. Hopefully, you don’t find it overwhelming. Hopefully, you take some quiet time to revisit this information and apply it to yourself. There’s so much in our control, and yet, we pretend it isn’t. It’s human to be afraid, but we can move through the fear if we see that our doubts are unfounded and that we can resolve our obstacles before we begin.

I am just like you. I’m moving through my own fears and doubts, and I’m leaning on my problem-solving skills to prevent me from being deterred.

We can do this. We can do this together.

I’d really love to know what you’re working on achieving, big and small, so come find me, friends!

Remember, you Motivate Me!

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Description: Too often we allow feelings of perfectionism to stunt our progress. Find out if you’re a perfectionist, learn why, and see how it’s holding you back. Next step: complete the Push through Perfectionism Activity to understand that you win the majority of the time – even when you feel far from perfect!

MM556 – Bail on Perfectionism

Hello, everybody, and welcome to this week’s episode of Motivate Me!

It’s Me! Time here on Motivate Me! and we are working on coming back from flat.

Before we start, let’s get into the right headspace. Let’s engage in the idea that this is time where YOU are the priority. Let’s take two slow, deep breaths to get us centered. Just follow me.

Today’s focus is: Bail on Perfectionism

Too often we allow the idea of perfectionism to hold us back. We let it stop us from attempting something new, and we let it stop us from creating.

Let me give you some examples. For starters, I never saw myself as a perfectionist but my husband and daughter started pointing out some of the ways I do things differently than them. For example, the way I cut vegetables! My husband used to be a line cook for Perkins, so breakfast at our house can be pretty spectacular. Since I’m his prep cook, I start cutting the vegetables for our omelets and home fries before he gets to the kitchen.

I, basically, got kicked out of the kitchen because I take “too much time” cutting the peppers, onions, and mushrooms because I try to make them all the same size. Isn’t that what you need to do so they cook evenly? My husband comes barreling into the kitchen and he cuts everything in the same haphazard way he folds his laundry or makes a ham sandwich. That’s something I can never understand: throwing all the ham into the middle of the bread in one big lump. You can bet that my ham is dispersed evenly throughout the whole sandwich. I will tell you something, though, his tastes better!

My daughter is similar to my husband, she’ll approach a project and boom! it’s done. And I’m on the other side of the room not having even started yet because I’m feeling anxious about it not coming out right. Of not having exactly what I need to do the job.

I, literally, write with mechanical pencils because I don’t like seeing things crossed out on my paper. Even though I’m only writing notes or journaling. Pen is a big commitment, you know what I mean?

But here’s the thing: If we don’t act on an idea in the first five minutes from the creation of it, chances are we never will. And in order to act this quickly, we have to get past our feelings of perfectionism.

When I finished my undergraduate degree in English and Education, even after all of my student-teaching experiences, I didn’t feel ready to be in the classroom. I didn’t feel educated enough. I felt imposter syndrome, I felt like maybe if I had a master’s degree I would be better prepared.

My husband’s like, “What do you need a master’s for, you just got your teaching degree, that’s what it’s for?”

I said, “I don’t know, I don’t feel ready!”

Our perfectionism is driven by fear. Fear that we won’t be smart enough, talented enough, attractive enough, perfect enough. We have to determine a jumping off point. We have to decide to take that leap of faith. We have to accept the fact that we will be nervous, that we may feel like a fake or a fraud, and that once we do get started, we may need to pivot or edit. But if we don’t act at all because we are too scared of not being good enough, or because we never feel ready, we stay stagnant and risk becoming bitter and resentful.

I really had to push past these feelings when I got the idea to travel the fifty states in ninety days interviewing people about their passion.

I did act in the first five minutes by sending a message to someone I knew to see if she’d be interested in accompanying me on a trip like this as my assistant. But here I was a new podcaster and new professional coach, I had just resigned from teaching to work on this career, and I was talking about taking this huge, very expensive, very timely, very complex step.

So much could go wrong. And the timeline only allotted me so much time to prepare – but honestly, would I ever REALLY feel prepared for a trip like this one? I go into detail about how I acquired a crew and planned the trip in Episode 533, if you’re interested in that, but important to note here is that I had A LOT to push through to go through with this trip. Like all the things I just mentioned and the fact that I was a 48-year-old chunky mother figure who just decided to hit the road and interview people in each of the fifty states. I needed to buy equipment, I needed a new van, I needed to learn how to run body mics and record, and edit the show from the road.

There was a huge learning curve in a lot of areas and many points of exit where I would have been justified in cancelling this trip because I felt ill-prepared.

But I pushed through and I know you can too!

Here’s what I’d like you to do: I’d like you to make a list for yourself of all the things you’ve done in life where when you started you were panicked. I want you to list them all, and when you do this, envision yourself at the start. Reconnect with the feelings you had at the start. Make your whole list!

When you’re done, I want you to go back to the list, start at the top again. Look at what you have written there, envision how you felt at the end of that moment in time, and write a number. I want you to write a number on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best) that represents how confident you felt when this moment in time came to an end.

Now listen, I am not saying you won’t have a thing or two on your list that you think you could have been better off not doing, and I’m not saying you won’t look at something on your list and wish you did it differently. But I think you will overwhelmingly see that much of what you pushed yourself to do is what’s shaped you as a person and moved you forward in your life.

So do this for your entire list.

Walking into teaching, I would have given myself a four on this list, but when I left, I would give myself a nine. Walking into my Fifty States in Ninety Days trip, I would have also given myself a four on this list, and after completing it, I would have also given myself a nine. I’m seeing a trend here. For me, I am tough on myself and the fours are because I feel I have so much to learn, but they are no lower than that because I know my intentions are true and I have a want to be all-in. On the way out, I feel confident and capable but know there are always things I could have done better. Always people I could have treated better. And maybe this is my perfectionism creeping in, but I am good with nines, I am proud of my nines.

This list you just made would be really great to share with a friend who thinks that you are braver than them, that you always have it together and are never fearful. Or maybe there’s a child in your life who would benefit from seeing how human you are; that you have had to push past fears in your life, too, but that you emerged on the other side glad you did.

We would love to hear your thoughts. Join us in our Private Facebook group: Motivate Me! Support System and checkout MotivateMePodcast.com for anything else.

I am going to leave you with some truth talk from me to you: The truth is that if we allow perfectionism to keep us grounded, we will have no one to blame but ourselves. And yes, we may try something new and feel like we failed. Or when we look back, we may see all that we should have done differently. But we will have walked away stronger, smarter, more interesting, and more knowledgeable than we would have ever been. And most importantly, we will never have to wonder what if… Remember, you Motivate Me!

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Hello, everybody, and welcome to this week’s episode of Motivate Me!

It’s Me! Time here on Motivate Me! and we are working on coming back from flat.

Before we start, let’s get into the right headspace. Let’s engage in the idea that this is time where YOU are the priority. Let’s take two slow, deep breaths to get us centered. Just follow me.

Today’s focus is: Say No to Negativity

Nothing is more detrimental to our goals and our mental health than negativity. And in order to make change in our lives, we can’t allow naysayers and emotional drainers and doubters to dissuade us or invade us.

Before we get started today, let’s talk about what negativity is and where we often see it.

The Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of negativity is “the expression of criticism of or pessimism about something.”

First let’s talk about a few obvious places we can easily spot negativity, and then we’ll talk about why it keeps showing up in our lives.

First: The Internet

As much as I love the Internet, it’s an absolute breeding ground for negativity.

            – People come on intentionally to antagonize others – and sometimes even to “troll,” as                   they say, which means to post inflammatory statements just to watch people fight

            – People are cruel to each other – they say things to people they probably would not say in

              person (Or at least I hope they wouldn’t!)

            – People judge each other and their opinions or actions harshly (without even knowing

              details to a person’s story)

            – People log on to “rant” or “vent” (I can tell you right now, if a post starts with either of

              these words, I scroll right on by – there is no value in that for me?)

Second: Work

As much as you may love your coworkers, work can become a feeding frenzy for negativity.

            – People hone in on what’s wrong, instead of finding solutions because then they can

              play the victim

            – People like to complain because, as they say, “misery loves company”

            – People show their value under the guise of dissatisfaction (“Look at everything they

              have me doing!”)

            – People dissuade each other because they don’t want others to become more successful

              than them

Third: Loved Ones

The attitudes and opinions of close friends and family carry the most weight for us and their negativity impacts not only our actions but our belief in self.

            – They dump their emotions on us, sometimes often and often abruptly

            – We feel a sense of responsibility for their happiness

            – They try to control us through fear – to keep us safe

            – They cause us to doubt – to keep us from being more successful than them – because our               success will make them feel like less

These are just a few examples, but I’m sure it’s easy to identify the negative situations and people in your life.

My question to you is: Why does this negativity keep showing up for you?

Here is my guess: The Law of Attraction dictates that whatever we put out into the world comes back to us multiplied. If this is so, could you just be getting back to you the negativity you yourself are putting out into the world?

Maybe you’re thinking right now that this is impossible because you are a kind, solutions-based, non-gossipy kinda gal. But can I ask you to look one more place? A place where only you inhabit? A place where all things you stem? How is your internal dialogue?

Are you one of those people who encourages and supports others? Someone whose heart hurts when someone you know can’t see their own worth, yet you beat yourself up every chance you get? What names do you call yourself when you’re frustrated with your own actions, when you had cookies the same day you started your diet, when you made a mistake at work, when you forgot to pack your child’s snack for camp: “stupid,” “idiot,” “loser,” or worse?

We are so hard on ourselves. And negativity is so detrimental to our person.

I do have some amazing news, though: We can control the negativity in our lives.

The first step is to know where you will encounter it and the next step is to nix it! Because regardless of any situation or any person, no one controls our feelings but us. We cannot control others but we can absolutely control how they make us feel.

I have made a list for you of the ten ways you can nix negativity in your life and let positivity become your habit!

1. Remove toxic people from your life

            – delete the toxic people (those that you can) from your social media, your e-mail, your                   phone contacts (don’t forget, you can “silence” people online without deleting them

2. Make the decision to be a positive person.

3. Do not judge. Appreciate people for who they are and where they’re at in their journey. This is not always easy, but if you take a step back and look at the big picture, you’ll understand that we’re all just learning… including you.

4. Actually believe your positive thoughts: Yes, you are awesome! Yes, you got the promotion because you are the best candidate, not because no one else wanted it!

5. Flip the Script in your head: When negativity creeps in, change the narrative. For example: Your coworker didn’t ignore you this morning because she doesn’t like you, she just didn’t see you, or she was in a rush, or she has something on her mind.

6. Understand that the cliché “ignorance is bliss” works in your favor – let’s say your coworker did see you and didn’t say hello… that’s her problem, not yours, and you’re better off believing that “she just didn’t see you, or she was in a rush, or she has something on her mind.”

7. Assume the best to attract the positive! Because why not? How will assuming the worst in any situation change the situation, make the situation better, or help you in any way? That was so nice that your mom bought you new bath towels – it’s not because she thinks your old ones are ratty, it’s because she knew you’d like them! (We can get so negative about the actions of our family, can’t we? About what we THINK their intentions are.)

8. When you see and feel the negativity brewing, pivot! Find a way to leave the situation.

9. When you feel yourself becoming negative, refuse the thought and distract yourself with a positive thought about something else- do not entertain negativity.

10. Truly love and accept yourself. Just know that you are awesome – you are perfectly imperfect, just like God intended!

When you don’t play the negativity game, people will stop bringing it to you because you will make them feel small. So rise above it. Put positivity out into the world and THAT is what you will get more of in your life.

We would love to hear your thoughts. Join us in our Private Facebook group: Motivate Me! Support System and checkout MotivateMePodcast.com for anything else.

I am going to leave you with some truth talk from me to you: When you refuse negativity, positivity becomes who you are, and what you put out into the world you get more of. This new habit will help you easily identify and walk away from negative people and situations. You will feel the weight of it, like a sickness, and you won’t tolerate it in your life. Remember that it’s all a decision, and if you’re like the rest of us, your internal dialogue will be your greatest conquest.

Remember, you Motivate Me!

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Being vulnerable can build confidence and clarity, even when the outcome can be seen as disappointing. Touch base with your passion here, see how you can redirect it, if that’s what you need to take a more vulnerable approach!

MM554 – Seek out Spaces Where You can be Vulnerable

Hello, everybody, and welcome to this week’s episode of Motivate Me!

It’s Me! Time here on Motivate Me! and we are working on coming back from flat.

Before we start, let’s get into the right headspace. Let’s engage in the idea that this is time where YOU are the priority. Let’s take two slow, deep breaths to get us centered. Just follow me.

Today’s focus is: Seek out Spaces Where You can be Vulnerable

If you’re joining us for the first time this season, welcome, new Motivate Me! Friend!

Our goal at Motivate Me! is to inspire you to live a life that’s more exciting and/or more meaningful. We do this in Seasons 1-3 by interviewing people who are living passionate lives, so you can steal some of their tricks to apply to your world.

But here, in Season 4, we are sharing tips, tricks, and techniques that will help you reconnect with your passion or redirect your passion so you can get your head and heart back in the game.

There are many ways we can connect with our passion. Sometimes it’s through our careers but often times it’s not. Sometimes it’s something we make money at, but that’s not always the case either.

Passions are so unique to us. You may be into creating art through paintings, sculptor, music, writing, interior design, food, or photography. Or you may be driven to help people or spread joy or be an advocate for the under-privileged or the under-represented. Your passion might be about the environment, horticulture, animals, or even architecture or teaching or textiles. The list is truly endless.

Can you see how exciting it would be to be part of the world of politics or in the Olympic arena or behind the scenes in the fashion? I find all of it exciting! That’s why my passion is exploring all of this with all of you.

Over the past few years and through the pandemic, I fell away from my passion for a time. It was the prodding of some loved ones that motivated me to aggressively seek myself again, and the steps I took to reconnect with myself is what I’m sharing with you here in Season 4 of Motivate Me!.

This is the 23rd episode of this season, and it’s during this part of my journey that I decided I wanted to be more open, more honest, more vulnerable. I think because I’m a positive person people think I don’t have struggles, I assure you I do. We all do. It was scary to be open in this way but it was also exciting.

One of the ways I decided to put get out of my comfort zone was to share my intentions and my greatest struggle with a group of people in a small private Facebook group. I was very honest about what I was trying to accomplish with my podcast and I was ver honest about what I feel is my greatest struggle, which is finding my value.

How do we know if what we find important will be valuable to others? And don’t we need to feel like what we’re doing is important to people in order to push through, in order to put our hearts into something, in order to put our hearts on paper or out onto the airwaves?

I kept the post simple, but it was heartfelt and direct. And I subscribed to the idea that this post would help me become a more transparent person, that it would help me articulate my goals, and it would help me put my intentions out to the universe.

Now, I want to make sure I’m clear about this: just because we decide to be more open as people and put ourselves out to the world, people are not obligated to respond to us in the manner we seek. So if you choose to do this, know that with this comes risk.

Here’s what happened for me: I shared the post and while I waited for responses, I refocused on the idea that the sharing of my doubts were the important part here. And then I waited and didn’t check the post until the next day: 8 people in the group of 16 had seen it, only 2 “liked” it, and only one person left a comment – a comment that felt more obligatory than anything else.

There was opportunity for disappointment here. Not just because, yeah, it would have felt great to get some feedback about how what I was doing was important, but because I had hoped for any kind of engagement in what I’d said. I mean, couldn’t they see my vulnerability?

But guess what? I learned something pretty great here!

I learned that while I was disappointed, more than that, I remained undeterred in my direction. Because through the conception of the post, the writing of it, the posting of it; through being vulnerable, I had gained confidence in my message and in myself. I learned a little more about me that day, mainly that I don’t need validation as much as I thought I did.

Learning more about yourself – THAT is what I want for you. And you can gain this by being a more vulnerable person.

Here is someone elses story that is pretty neat, and it will show you two really interesting things: 1) how we can approach our passion from different angles and reap maximum reward, and 2) how we need to practice vulnerability in order to do that.

When I taught high school English, one of the history teachers I worked with also played guitar in a low-key band. He was really into teaching and history, he really loved what he did, but playing the guitar brought something very different out in him.

I can see now where these two things collided for him: teachers are part entertainer, and this man was just as in the know about the history of music as he was about the subjects he taught. He took his passion for history and paired it with his musical talent.

This makes so much sense to me now and I always found it amazing that he would perform at school events with current and past students – do you find this brave? To be an equal on stage with your students? It’s a really humble and vulnerable place to be, don’t you think?

We would love to hear your thoughts. Join us in our Private Facebook group: Motivate Me! Support System and checkout MotivateMePodcast.com for anything else.

I am going to leave you with some truth talk from me to you: Being vulnerable is hard and most of the time we don’t know what we want to get out of being vulnerable – and when we get it, there’s a really good chance we’ll be disappointed in it. But that must not stop us because in the end, we get the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and gain the clarity we need to move forward, which is all we’re looking for anyway.

Remember, you Motivate Me!

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We talk about so many great things here: about where you can get information that will help you discover a passion or goal, about the power of having the right materials, about universal materials we all need on our creative quest, and about how to acquire materials on a low budget – and who doesn’t want that?

MM – 553 – Get More Materials

Hello, everybody, and welcome to this week’s episode of Motivate Me!

It’s Me! Time here on Motivate Me! and we are working on coming back from flat.

Before we start, let’s get into the right headspace. Let’s engage in the idea that this is time where YOU are the priority. Let’s take two slow, deep breaths to get us centered. Just follow me.

Today’s focus is: Get More Materials

Episode 542 talks all about gathering the necessary materials – materials that will help rev your creative engine and reconnect you with your passion. If you haven’t listened to Episode 542, I think it’s a great idea, especially if you’re someone who’s in search of their passion or in search of a goal to achieve. Because in this stage of my process, I knew I was searching for something but I had no desires. So maybe Episode 542 can help you, too.

The general idea of gathering your materials in the first place was to kickstart your exploration process. It was to get you to play again, play with the materials that speak to you.

Now, I wonder when you reached out to gather materials, did you, like me, have some around your home that you could start to play with? Did you have a good idea where those materials were, and you went over and just picked them up again? I knew were mine were because I had a sense of guilt every time I saw them, because I knew I should be using them, and I wasn’t.

My materials are writerly things. I knew exactly where I kept my blank notebooks and favorite pencils, so I started this process by picking up one little, one-subject notebook. I grabbed one pencil. And that is how this began. Very quickly, though, I felt myself being pulled in many creative directions when I sat down to write: I wanted to collect notes on what I’d been reading, but I also had begun writing non-fiction and journaling. And I wanted to write down other writing or business ideas I was having so they didn’t distract me, so I would finish things I was currently working on.

All of this began to overwhelm my little notebook, so I went back into the cabinet and pulled out five more one-subject notebooks. I went back to the drawer and pulled out a black marker. I labeled each notebook by subject making sure to have one about my “50 States in 90 Days” book that I’m writing and one about this journey I am taking with you: “Coming Back from Flat.”

I had all the notebooks labeled and I was filling pages in each one, and you know what happened? So many ideas began to flow that I needed better organization, and I wanted to collect all of my ideas in one place because I know that this way they would have more weight. That they would have a better chance of materializing. So I went back into the cabinet.

This time, I pulled out a brand new, fat binder and a brand new package of dividers with tabs, it was like they had been there waiting for me. Then I grabbled a stack of lined paper, my colored markers, and my clipboard.

I labeled the tabs with the colorful markers and began ripping the pages from the notebooks and filing them into the binder – not caring that the notebook pages are smaller than the looseleaf ones. Then I put a stack of paper on the clipboard and I began to write.

If I needed to, I added a note to a page already started in the binder, or if I needed to, I’d start a new page on my clipboard. Everything got dated and everything got filed.

Before long, I ordered more looseleaf paper, a ten-pack of legal pads, some more pencils, and a few more books to read.

The more I used my materials, the more I needed them. Let me say that again: The more I used my materials, the more I needed them.

I started slowly with one one-subject notebook, but because I stayed organized, because I remained committed to the process of reconnecting with myself, because I gave my thoughts permission and space to expand, I paved the way for ideas to flow and I found the value in what I had to share. That’s when I realized that this whole time that is what I’d been looking for: my value.

The more materials you have to play with, the more you will create… if you commit to it. And the more you do anything, the more you build your skill, develop your talent, understand your purpose. Doing this is how we are able to impact the lives of others, which is what I believe we’re here to do, which is why it’s so important that you don’t hold yourself back from what you’re meant to create.

Before we go today, there are some universal materials that can help us all when we’re on this creative quest and I’m sure you’re not at all surprised that I made a list of these things for you to consider. As always, my lists are a smattering of ideas meant to help you get thinking about what would work best for you. A catalyst, if you will, because no one knows what you need better than you do. Sometimes we just need to be asked the right question or be exposed to the right thing.

So, I’m going to share this list with you, then I’m going to give you a bonus list of ideas that will help you acquire materials on a low budget.

First, here’s a list of materials we may not think about right out of the gate. It’s six ideas that will help to protect our physical and mental health when working creatively.

1. Diet (prepared meals or food delivery service to maintain energy, clarity, and overall health – planning is key!)

2. Exercise (gym equipment, outdoor spaces, indoor spaces, online program – schedule time to keep your body strong and healthy)

3. Meditation (meditation programs, prayer, music – whatever gives your mind a break and connects you to a higher power)

4. Personal Safety (safety gear, buddy system, support system – we have a friend who texts us when he goes out and comes back on his kayak – have a safety plan)

5. Pysical Well-being (use the proper equipment, stretch, be aware of your posture – take care of your physical self for the long game)

6. Physical Space (lighting, temperature, asthetics – it should be safe and inspirational. I currently have the blinds down, a sage and lavender candle lit, spa music playing, the light is low, there is a sleeping puppy on the chair next to me, and there’s a perfectly mixed iced coffee on the table. Because doing this with you is my passion, and I want to enjoy the process, all of it. So think about what you need to make what you’re doing enjoyable.)

OK, as promised, I have another list for you: 7 Ways to Acquire Materials on a Low Budget. (Even if you don’t have a low budget, who wants to waste money?)

1. Borrow from the Library

2. Borrow from a friend

3. Rent – maybe even split the rent with a friend

4. Barter or trade (think products and services)

5. Buy used

6. Post on social media what you’re in need of – don’t forget, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” You may be helping somebody by doing this; maybe it would make someone happy to see this item being used by someone who appreciates it?

7. Get a job some place where they have what you want, so you can get what you need for free or discounted – Examples: Want to be a travel writer? Become a stewardess. Have fitness goals? Work at a gym. Need craft supplies? Get a job at a craft store. Other tools and supplies, how about Home Depot or Lowes? Want flight lessons? Maybe you could volunteer at the school in exchange for flight hours?

Basically, get creative!

We would love to hear your thoughts. Join us in our Private Facebook group: Motivate Me! Support System and checkout MotivateMePodcast.com for anything else.

I am going to leave you with some truth talk from me to you: All things needs replenishment: body, mind, soul… and materials. So, keep nourishing and nurturing your gifts, talents, and goals, and seek the materials that can best help you progress to the next level – even if you have to get creative about it! We don’t do excuses here at Motivate Me!, we do actions. You got this!   

Remember, you Motivate Me!

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Connecting with our people is vital to the human psyche. The question is: How can we nurture this connection without losing ourselves? How can we use this connection to fill us instead of drain us? Great ideas and examples of exactly how to do this in this episode!

MM552 – Connect with Your People

Hello, everybody, and welcome to this week’s episode of Motivate Me!

It’s Me! Time here on Motivate Me! and we are working on coming back from flat.

Before we start, let’s get into the right headspace. Let’s engage in the idea that this is time where YOU are the priority. Let’s take two slow, deep breaths to get us centered. Just follow me.

Today’s focus is: Connect with Your People

Today we’re going to talk about the importance of connecting with your people and its role in helping you reclaim your passion. How doing this can help you get your head and heart back in the game!

First, let’s talk about why we should connect with our people, and then we’ll talk about how.

Every action we take in life is done out of either fear or love. Fear is what holds us back and love is what propels us forward.

Connecting with friends and family is all about love and it serves multiple purposes.

For one, it clears our conscience. It clears our conscience because we know that our friends and family are doing well, because they know we care, because we are pulling our weight in our relationships. It keeps us grounded, and it’s good for our soul because caring about others is a form of service.

We have to have a clear conscience if we’re trying to achieve our own goals. I don’t know about you, but if something or someone’s on my mind, I can’t focus to meditate or read or write or create anything. However, when I sit down with a clear mind and feel good that I put effort into my relationships, I’m much more creative and productive.

It’s similar to when we talked in another episode about how much easier it is to focus on our wants and needs when our other responsibilities have been met, like how when the house is clean, the family is fed, and the day job is in order.

Now, there’s two types of relationships we’re reaching out to when we connect with our people: one is those people who fill us with all the feel-good hormones, and the other is those that drain us. The thing is, sometimes we have relationships that are draining and we aren’t willing to walk away from them. That’s fine, I’m not here to lecture you on your relationships. I’m here to say that you need to do whatever it takes for you to free up your headspace.

For many of us this means making sure we’re playing our part in our relationships. And if some of these people are the kind that bring you down, that’s fine, just mentally prepare yourself for those people and know that you need to keep an emotional distance. It’s not that you don’t care about them, it’s that you don’t allow them to consume you. Chances are, these are the relationships you most need to nurture in order to keep a clear mind.

Either way, back to you! So, if you’ve been following our steps for Season 4, you’ve been journaling and writing and playing with your craft. You’ve gathered some materials that will help you explore your passions more, and you’ve been making yourself a priority. That’s awesome, and I really hope you’ve been working on this for yourself. Now it’s time to take some of that time and reinvest it in your relationships because doing so will refill you.

The quandary is: How do I make time for everyone and everything in my life and still have time and energy leftover for me?

Well, here’s a list of some simple ways you can stay connected to your people, ways that have a big impact but don’t create a big time commitment for you or them. Please don’t get me wrong, there are times when we can sit on the phone or FaceTime with friends and family, but there are also ways we can achieve a similar outcome without depleting our precious personal time.

After we discuss this list, I’m going to share a fun and unexpected ending of what happened after I took one of these ideas to task!

6 Simple Ways to Stay Connected with Your People

            1. Send an actual card or letter. This doesn’t sound super inventive, but in this day and   age it is pretty uncommon. The note can be handwritten or typed, it’s a nice gesture, it’s something you can do any time of day, and it feels nice to receive. I suggest adding a fun   sticker to the envelope or hand drawn picture, and you can also address it in a way that will make the person smile, like Jess Hottie Casiano, Justin Da man! Silva, Kelly             Awesomeness Trombley. These are actual examples… I have many more!

            2. Drop off a homemade meal or dessert. To me, it’s a small amount of effort to send a     big amount of love. And, it’s really not that time consuming to put a couple of portions of a meal you’re already making into a container and run it over to a friend’s door.

            3. Send a gift from Amazon. If you have Amazon Prime, shipping’s free. I just sent a

            pool net to my friend for her boat… she’s always leaning over the boat to scoop garbage

            from the river. What little item could you send to a friend? A funny T-shirt you know

            they’d love, a specific color of nail polish? One time a grieving friend was visiting and she took comfort in my slide-on sneakers, I surprised her and shipped her pair. She felt the love.

            4. Hide a gift for someone to find. I hid a Tennessee ornament under the Christmas tree at a friend’s house last year, since we’d both just moved here. Recently, she hid a NJ   ornament that was in her house in my bag. So small, but so big, right?

            5. Pass along news articles or tag people in things you see online. I shared an article about sharks with one friend and tagged another in a hat I knew she’d love. They felt so seen.

            6. Send a low-commitment text. A low-commitment text is one that doesn’t take much time to read or respond to.

This is the story I wanted to tell you about. I’m close with many of my nieces and nephews and no matter how crazy life gets, I try to make sure they remember that I’m here if they need me, that I care about what’s happening in their lives, that I’m interested in all they’re striving for. But at the same time, I don’t want them to feel like I’m putting expectations on them. So, a few months ago, I sent a simple text to three of my nieces and three of my nephews that said: “On a scale of 1-10, how’s things?”

Now, I’m expecting simple answers, I would have been happy with just a number in response, to be honest, but what I got was quite the surprise. My first niece said she didn’t know how she was doing yet, that she’d let me know as soon as she got out of the job interview she was about to walk into. (She told me later that she got the job, and she also shared with me that her fiancé had just been diagnosed with Covid.) A second niece responded right away with, “I’m in class what’s up, what do you need?” She’s fine but wants to know what she can do for me… while working full-time and going to college full-time. And my third niece sadly said she was only at a 5/10 because she’d been struggling with getting accepted into a master’s program.

Then I heard from the boys.

My first nephew responded that he’s at an 8 or 9 out of 10, only because he can’t live on his college campus due to Covid. But then he opened dialogue with me and seemed genuinely interested in how life’s been treating me. My second nephew asked if he could FaceTime me because he’s out in L.A., he wants to show me his new apartment, and he wants to tell me a long sorted story about an agent who wants to sign him. Then he sent me the song he’d just recorded. And my third nephew, well, he said he’s at a 5/10 because he feels he “doesn’t need to be wonderful all the time.”

Hahaha.

Wow. Right? One simple text that I sent to six people I care about, and I got a window into their worlds and they got to see that I care. I remember that I was working at the kitchen table the day I did this. I remember that doing this sidetracked me for a small period of time. And then I remember putting my nose to the grindstone feeling contentment in my heart and connection with my people.

What can you do that will give you this same sense of contentment? Who do you need to reach out to so you can quiet your subconscious?

We would love to hear your thoughts. Join us in our Private Facebook group: Motivate Me! Support System and checkout MotivateMePodcast.com for anything else.

I am going to leave you with some truth talk from me to you: Connection with others is probably the greatest need of the human psyche. We can allow this need to drain us or to we can allow it to fill us up. The thing is, there are many aspects in life we cannot control, but this is not one of them. We can get creative in how we reach out to those we love, we can put some planning into building these relationships, and if we do this, we will feel fuller than when we started and excited to get back to achieving our own goals.

Remember, you Motivate Me!