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Friday Reflection: People Make People Better People

Weekly Show Reflection:

How many times have we heard that if we want to be successful we need an accountability partner? An accountability partner is someone who holds you to your own word. It’s been my experience, and the experience of this week’s guests, that we don’t even realize sometimes that that is exactly what we have created in our lives, what a person is doing in our lives.

Let’s start with Monday’s guests IT manager Joe Lange and toymaker John Veneziano. Joe and John and Joe’s brother John share a lifelong love and that is for music. And they do this through their band distantBrother. I went to school with these three and remember way back in the day their love for playing instruments, singing, and performing. What is interesting about their band is that they don’t play out anywhere. What is even more interesting is that two of the band members live in New Jersey and one lives all the way out in Seattle. With the help of technology, they meet on Tuesdays through Skype. They lay down and share tracks over the Internet. And when they’re ready, they post them on iTunes for purchase.

Of course, at one time, they had the quintessential dream of playing Madison Square Garden and achieving fame. And while they loved that dream, they are excited about their reality. They have been able to keep this passion alive their whole lives. And, I don’t want to blow up their spots or anything, but that’s about thirty years now. So my question to you is this: What do you think it is that keeps them going? My guess is that they feel accountable to each other. They depend on each other to be there every Tuesday night. They encourage and inspire each other. And even if they only complete four or five songs a year, you can hear in their voices how much they truly enjoy creating together.

Tuesday’s guest is a whole different scenario. Kanani Briggs is someone who sells the product Arbonne but is involved in a non-profit organization called Mission of Hope Haiti. Her connection to Arbonne is important here, because it was through her connections that she discovered Mission of Hope Haiti. Her initial goal was to raise $6,500.00. She got her husband and children involved, she committed to her Arbonne friends, and then she met families in Haiti. Now, Kanani says that she has always had a desire to serve, and she would like to be doing more, but has the responsibility of a family to serve first. But, do you see where I am going with this? There are many people in Kanani’s life that hold her accountable to her commitments to serve Haiti: the involvement and participation of her family, the relationships she has formed with her Arbonne friends, and finally, the connects she has made with families in Haiti.

Kanani’s situation makes me wonder if when she embarked on this journey of service, if she knew she was creating powerful accountability partners.

On Wednesday, Deb MacMillan, an intuitive coach from England was here to share with us what I believed at the start to be this passion for singing in a choir. Now, I knew that this passion was new for Deb, that it started for her somewhat recently in her late 50s, but what I did not know was that she was going to share with us other amazing step-out-of-your-comfort-zone experiences from her life that included things like modeling lingerie in her early 50s, and participating in a Lindy dance competition with friends in her mid 50s.

Deb is so familiar with facing fear that speaking with her makes you realize that there isn’t that much to truly be afraid of. She acknowledges the fear, gets nervous about whatever it is she wants to do, and does it anyway…nervously, but she does it anyway. And, with each experience, there are other people involved: friends or family. They provide her encouragement, expectation, and – yes – accountability.

Speaking with Deb just made me realize how habit-forming getting outside of your comfort zone truly is. You see that each time you feel fear, that you get nervous, and when you do it despite those things, you get to look back on what you’ve accomplished. And, yes, you are still standing. And, you are standing stronger than you were before.

So, Thursday’s guest, Wyoming’s Kyle Hendrix came on the show to teach us a lesson on how to get promotions. He focuses on: being motivated, being observant, staying in the present, and having difficult conversations when necessary. Kyle is all about accountability. He holds his employees accountable and he holds himself accountable to his superiors, his mentors, and his company.

I think these are four fantastic examples of how we use accountability in our daily lives. You have: being part of a group, committing to a role within a charity, friends and family, and in employee/employer relationships. On top of these, you have situations where people hire others to hold them accountable, like workout trainers, life coaches, mastermind groups, which is the topic of next Thursday’s lesson. Or those people who use religion to help them remain accountable.

The bottom line is this: It is no secret that we often respect more commitments we make to others than those we make to ourselves. I’m not even here to fight that. In certain areas, I need a lot of work on that myself. Which makes me think about how grand the scale of accountability is. About the idea that needing each other in this way fulfills the life purpose of those around us. That one person’s needs can be another’s purpose. If we didn’t need this support from others, how would the world look? We would be our own islands.

There would be less collaboration and camaraderie, like in Joe and John’s experience. Less people would feel the joy of giving and service, like Kanani’s family and those who helped her raise money for the home she funded. People wouldn’t be pulled into as many new experiences, like Deb’s friends and family. And, what about the work place? If we didn’t need to be held accountable, people would be less observant and fewer difficult conversations would be had, which sounds great, right? But what about the communication skills? And what about the growth that come from that?

And, what if your purpose in life was to inspire others through training or coaching, through organizing like-minded people. Would people need to pull as much strength from their religions? Would their perspectives on faith, hope, and love change?

I think the idea of accountability seems like a very personal thing, but I don’t think it is as personal as we believe it to be. If we could hold ourselves accountable, we wouldn’t need each other as much, and I think we’re meant to need each other. It’s how we know we’re connected to each other. It’s how we grow and how we learn.

So, ladies and gentlemen. Don’t be down on yourself if you need an accountability partner in this world. Remember that you are doing for them equally as much, if not more, as they are doing for you.

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