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Friday Lesson: Self-Preservation is Political Warfare

Quote of the Day: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” –Audre Lorde

Weekly Show Reflection:

You can tell by the length of this week’s episodes that our guests had some important ideas to share. And these three guests, over these four episodes spoke with such heart about self-care.

I could not do justice trying to summarize all of the powerful points made by Kirstin, Steven, and Cait, but I will tell you that if you need to make self-care more of a priority, you should listen to some or all of these episodes.

Kirstin Nussgruber is a two-time cancer survivor and a health and wellness coach who works with people on balancing their body, mind, and spirit. Kirstin brought some very interesting ideas to the table. One being that her illnesses were meant to teach her lessons. She shared with us details about the complicated relationship she had with her mother, and her decision to try to heal herself from the emotional pain of it while both she and her mother were battling cancer diagnoses. Uniquely, Kirstin’s way of caring for herself was through past life regression. If you find past life regression as fascinating of a topic as I do, then you will enjoy this episode and you will understand why I encouraged Kirstin to elaborate, and made the decision to extend her interview to two episodes.

I found Kirstin’s advice at the end of Part II powerful, and I would like to share that with you here: “The challenges in our lives, the crises in our lives…the difficult times in our lives, are there to actually push us forward, to catapult us forward, and they’re sent to us because the universe knows we can do it. So, if the universe knows we can do it, then, you know, who the hell are we to not believe in ourselves that we can actually do it, too? So turn it around. Of course, when you initially have that challenge, you need to, kind of, digest that first. And we do that… with the typical emotional reactions and that is absolutely needed and fine. But then we kind of come out of that, like a phoenix rising out of the ashes…” Make the intention to the universe: “I am open and I am ready to learn and receive.”

The second guest of the week, Steven Perlman, really surprised me. Steven is a keynote speaker, as well as a seasoned salesman, specializing in insurance and investments. He has been in his own business for much of his career, and he talks to a lot of people. You could say that networking is his life, however, he was genuinely happy that for once he could talk about his passion instead of his business. Since he was a teenager, Steven has been in love with sailing. He uses such beautiful imagery to describe what he loves about sailing, and why he needs this in his life. That sailing adds balance to his high pressure, high-paced work life by slowing it down and connecting him to nature. If you, or anyone you know, needs a reminder that there is more to life than work, than corporate life, than parenthood, entrepreneurship, caregiving or anything else that drains you – this is an episode for you. I ended this interview genuinely happy that Steven found this outlet in his life, and that he found it so early in life. It was a great reminder of the power of passion, and that we all deserve to have that space in our lives.

Cait Byrnes was the third guest of the week. Similar to Kirstin, Cait is also a health and wellness coach, but Cait’s focus is women who are suffering from fatigue and burn-out, and she does this through nutritional education, emotional support, and the promotion of radical self-care.  Gentlemen, though, do not feel left out. You can a) apply all of what Cait talks about to yourself, and b) gain some serious insight into the minds of women through this episode. So my advice is: Enter, but do so at your own risk. Cait and I talk about many key concepts that surround stress and self-care, and she gives incredibly valuable resources that you can find in the show notes to that episode. It may be the longest episode I’ve recorded, yet, but I didn’t want to edit anything, because if you are in need of self-care, you will want to hear every word.

So, I could tell you hear when discussing self-care that too often people put themselves last, that you need to give yourself permission, that you need to put the oxygen mask on before you can help anyone else. But my guests did such an amazing job, a thorough, showing this to you this week that there is very little for me to elaborate on on this front.

What I do want to talk to you about is which episodes you listen to and why? For example, you may be drawn to one or two of the episodes here, and maybe you think Steven’s won’t add value to you because you’re not in corporate. Or Cait’s won’t add value to you because you’re not a woman.

If that is the way you are utilizing this tool, and I hope that Motivate Me! has become a tool for you, then you may not be maximizing this show to its capacity.

So often listeners tell me that they start an episode and think, “Ah, this isn’t going to relate to me at all.” But then they give it a few minutes and find that it actually does. Because what happens is, they realize that while the guest may have had cancer and they never have, they do have that complicated relationship with their mother – or their sister.

This goes back to the concept that we are all connected. We are all connected – because we travel the same paths, we just each wear them differently. We are all connected – because we are here to learn the same lessons.

I would like to teach a lesson to you now. This is not a new idea, very little of what I talk about is. But, I want to teach a lesson to each of you who feels that you do not contribute much to the world. That you are not an important player. Maybe you live a simple life. Maybe you don’t have children. Maybe you don’t have high career aspirations, you never started your own business, never invented anything. You’re not a celebrity, you didn’t cure a disease.

You are special and you do impact this world. I don’t care if what makes you special is your chicken pot pie – I LOVE chicken pot pie. Do you know how happy a great chicken pot pie can make a person? Yes, actually, you do! And, I am sure you have a whole story about where the recipe came from, and different times that you made it for specific people. The love in that chicken pot pie could have cured an illness, mended a broken heart, it could have made someone feel loved who didn’t even love themselves. It could have made someone feel seen and understood.

And, yet, you may feel that you do not impact this world. Oh, I am sorry, but I thoroughly disagree. That chicken pot pie could be the one you make in the kitchen with your children or nieces and nephews. It could be the very memory they hold dearest from their youth. The softness of the dough, stickiness of the filling, the warm aroma that fills the kitchen. The toothless grins, the fighting over the last piece, the full belly grogginess.

Long after you are gone, your chicken pot pie could be what brings everyone around the table. It could be what sits on the table as they talk about all of their favorite memories of you. About all of the times you made your chicken pot pie, and how this one is good – but it just doesn’t taste the same.

Ladies and gentlemen, please ask yourselves today: What is my chicken pot pie? Because you already have one.

Call to Action:

• Join our Motivate Me! The Ultimate Support System Private Group!
  • Come be with like-minded people and rally around your peers

The Motivational Go-Do!

Answer: What is my chicken pot pie?

CLICK HERE to listen to this week’s reflection.

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